Saturday, October 10, 2009

Anonymous - Two Christmas Songs

My thoughts exactly, Grommit!

A few weeks ago, I posted an update that got quite a bit of response both online and off. More updates are in the works as well as reviews of several upcoming Christmas releases that arrived at my P.O. Box.

However, there was one package that stood apart from the rest. There was no return address and no post office markings anywhere on the envelope. The presumably Pitney-Bowes label had no evidence of its origin. I could post a photo of it but after reading the cover letter, I won't.

The cover letter was informative. The Times New Roman font was utilized, printed from MS Word (again presumably), and was left unsigned. I suppose I could go all "CSI" and dust for fingerprints and DNA while doing my best David Caruso impersonation but I won't.

The text of the letter:

"Hey Capt! Long time reader here - love the blog!

You are putting on a Christmas play and I wish you have a great run! I've been involved in theater nearly all my life and wanted to share something with you that I know you'll appreciate.

I was involved with a dinner theater for many years that put on an annual Christmas show. We spent many hours fine tuning the songs, the choreography, and putting on a great show up on its legs.

The owner of the theater thought he was a great talent. Every year, we had to deal with him inserting himself into the show several weeks after the start of rehearsals. His involvement usually threw the delicate balance of the cast into chaos and slowed the gathering momentum of the rehearsal process.

But what could we do? He was the guy who signed our checks. We were forced to tolerate it year after year.

During the last Christmas show I was involved with, the longtime sound board guy had had enough. He purposely recorded the theater owner's isolated body mike which was always kept low and buried behind the cast - listen and you'll know why. This was shared it out among several of the cast members and has become a cult classic in our theater community.


Shades of Linda McCartney!

I listened to the two songs and they are... hmmm... let's say they rank right up there with Johnny "Bowtie" Barstow, Wendy Rose, and the infamous version of "O Holy Night" that's been floating around cyberspace.

However, I'm puzzled - I'm not sure what the intentions of the sender of the package. Did he want to share this with me to play in the comfort and privacy of my own home? Did he want to get back at the theater owner in some small way and sent it to me so I could share it online?

I am asking the person or persons involved who sent me this package to send me an additional letter to seek out what their intentions are.

Please note that I removed the last sentence of the letter in the text above. Supply me with the last sentence word for word and I'll be able to spot the real person and their true intentions.

This hopefully should prevent 200 letters coming in saying "I'm the guy who sent you the package and it's okay to post it!" If you're tempted to try and guess, I ask you to save your postage for something else.

Let's hope we get a real response!

UPDATE 10/25/09: I received only one response and it was from the person (or persons) who sent it to me. They indeed did provide me with the last correct sentence of the aforementioned letter which was "Break a leg this Christmas!"

This new letter also provided me with an e-mail address that put me in touch with the gentleman who made the serendipitous recordings. The sound man asked me not to share one of the songs since it contained elements within it that would easily identify the source.

He gave me permission to share the other song and sent me an excerpt of another that I could use as well. So here is my first offering for the 2009 Christmas downloading season - brace yourself, William Hung. You got competition!

Anonymous - Two Christmas Songs

Happy listening...



David Federman said...

In all fairness to this pathetic guy, you should share the mix with his presence completely neutered. After all, that's what the audience heard and that's what he paid for--just to be part of a Christmas spectacle.

Anonymous said...

WOW!! And I thought I was bad.

Thanks Capt.


Anonymous said...

This is hilarious! Thanks for unleashing this to the world!

W.T. from Brisbane, QLD, Australia

Mike Bass said...

This will be a hidden track on my annual Christmas CD. Thanks for sharing!

Adam Dean said...

I'ts The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year sounds very much like Father Guido Sarducci singing. As mentioned above, this was a hidden track at the end of my Another Funky X-mas CD in 2009. Wow!